Department: Weird Stuff
Cooking The Books?
How cool is this? (via Boing Boing)
Not sure it'll catch on... but it might catch fire though!
Adam’s China Trip Report #3
Day 2: “A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” Laozi
As we attempt to check in for the two hour flight to Lanzhou, Jenny’s fractious conversation with the desk attendant signals a problem. By now, I’ve learned not to ask her to translate whilst she’s arguing with somebody in Chinese, as this inevitably leads to a simultaneous row with me. I wait until she strides away in exasperation before asking her what’s up. Apparently, they closed the desk two minutes before we arrived there. Twenty feet beyond, I can see the gate, and the queue waiting to board our flight.
Our luggage is on the plane and can’t be offloaded. Suddenly, the thought of being without spare underpants fills me with dread (I’m still a novice at the stand-up Chinese toilet routine). In a one-party state, the trains (and planes) run on time. Not necessarily a bad thing, unless your smalls end up 750 miles away. It won’t be my only encounter with pedantic officialdom during the holiday.
We get refunds for the missed flight, and book a cheaper one leaving in a couple of hours. The rest of our party in Lanzhou collect our suitcases and arrange to meet us at the train station.
Bisected by the Yellow River, and chaffed by the sands of the Gobi Desert, Lanzhou is at China’s geographic centre. On arrival, unencumbered by luggage, we decide to walk from the airport bus stop to the train station. We take lunch in a noodle bar. For the equivalent of £2.00, we enjoy noodle soup, a salad of pickled vegetables, sliced roast beef, fried chicken and beer. The staff gather obtrusively to examine my chopstick technique. I do not disappoint, but there is incomprehension when I request a spoon.
Unsure as to the dining arrangements on the train, we decide to stock up with provisions for the 28 hour journey to Lhasa. The proprietor of the local version of Spar adjusts his string vest, drags on a cigarette, and gestures to the food section, before coughing into a spittoon. The shelves are replete with vacuum-packed delights such as chicken’s feet (good with a beer, apparently), dried donkey (described as ‘spicy ass meat’), yak jerky, chilli jellyfish, spicy bean curd, pickled quails eggs, and vacuum-packed hog’s face. We leave with bottled water, instant noodles and cookies.
The main road to the train station has a distinctly local feel. Hawkers line the route specializing in dismembered preserved animals; monkey paws, bear’s teeth, dried heads, pelts and tails. I’m told these sad items hold some esoteric medicinal or spiritual value, but it’s all rather depressing.
We stop at an impressive fruit stall to buy water melon, bananas, cherries, and melon-pear; a fruit I’ve never seen before.
Laden with provisions, we arrive at the station to meet our travelling companions for the 29 hour journey to Lhasa.
Beijing’s Penis Emporium
Adam is enjoying a well-earned holiday at the moment, visiting China and Tibet. He has promised to hunt down some interesting foods and will hopefully report his expereinces here on this blog in due course.
Meantime, on the subject of indigenous foodstuffs, I've uncovered this article of, shall we say... questionable taste?... on the BBC web site. I think it might give Adam some pause for thought before wolfing down whatever delicacies are set before him!
I'm seriously thinking of becoming a vegetarian!
Credit Card Cutlery
Via Boing, Boing this innovative gadget which, I think, lies somewhere between inspirational and insane. Perhaps a credit card coffee cup will follow?
Available via the online shop at New York's Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum.
Live Lobster Catcher
This from Flickr via Boing, Boing... essentially a lobster vending machine crossed with one of those "win a crappy prize" crane things you find at holiday resort amusement arcades.
Given that lobsters are kept in tanks like this at hundreds of restaurants all over the country, I can't work out if this is cruel or not. (Mind you, one does wonder how often the water is changed in this thing.) Apparently they're fairly common in places where lobsters proliferate - does Chorlton count?
Anyone out there know of other wierd vending machines we could consider?
A Quorney Issue
I came across this interesting entry on Wired.com, especially in light of National Vegetarian Week as detailed in my previous entry.
I have eaten Quorn once or twice... or was it Tofu? And certainly it was by accident after someone had told me it was chicken... probably.
The point is (as the Wired article so deftly points out) what exactly is it? Some sort of mushroom?, or fungus? or perhaps - as my Dad once told me (a man with a talent for tall stories) - it is a by-product of a water filtration process. My guess is that all these derivations are true in some way, but that doesn't make it any more palatable to me. Whatever Quorn may be (and this Wiki entry gives some clues) it can't be traced, like a good piece of organic steak right back to the farm / water filtration plant that might have produced it, and that can't be good, can it? And why, if you are a vegetarian (and some of my best friends indeed are!) would you chose to eat something that resembled meat (which of course, it doesn't, not in the slightest) but wasn't. The same principle follows in my opinion for non-alcholic beers or herbal cigarettes- I mean what's the point in a poor substitute? Surely it's better to either do it or don't it. The middle ground has no merit whatsoever.
Can Chorlton do without them?
Each mint provides you with a burst of "crispy bacon" flavor!
I am already looking for a supplier!
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